Borders Closing

Borders has pretty much thrown in the towel as of today. I've known its been coming, my husband has known its been coming, but it is still hard. Yes, he will be without a second job once they close, and yes it could mean that we have to watch our budget a bit more, but it also means that if he doesn't take another second job he could substitute teach more. And then maybe just try for summer jobs. Oddly, it isn't the money that I'm worried about. I know that God will provide an opportunity that we never thought of.

What I'm going to miss are the memories. The first time I ever saw my husband was at that Borders store. I spent a good amount of our dating time sitting at that Borders while he worked. Our knitting group now meets at that Borders and we have created all new memories there. I am probably going to cry on the last day it is open. I may spend every day there between now and then. I'll miss Sis-in-Law's stories about all the drama there. I'll miss having my husband make me the perfect drinks.

At the same time that I will be sad about the closing, I'm excited about the new opportunities that God has for both Mr. Badango and his sister. This may be the push that they need to start their dream jobs. It may be the push that I need to get serious about publishing my designs and selling stitch markers on Etsy.

Pray for us as we start this new journey. It may get a little scary for us, but I trust that God knows what He is doing.

Light Bulb on Life

Every once in a while I have an epiphany about life and the direction mine is heading. Most of the time these epiphanies are about my weight loss journey. The last one that I had was that I need to think like a skinny person in my eating habits. The most recent one is that I seem to have stopped caring about my outward appearance.

I don't know when it happened, but sometime in the last couple of years I have gone from being obsessive about not showing my face without at least some mascara to not caring if I wear makeup for weeks on end. Its like I just stopped caring about making myself more presentable to the general public. Now don't get me wrong, I know that I am beautiful and don't need to use makeup or clothes to enhance my appearance. The thing is, I need them to enhance my mental health. When I choose to put on make up and find clothes that fit me right and make me look good and that I feel confident in, I am showing myself that I care about me.

If I care about me then I won't let myself continue to gain weight and I will work hard to lose the weight and be healthy.

If I care about me I will take the time every morning to put on some eyeliner and mascara and maybe even some eyeshadow.

If I care about me I will shop for clothes that make me feel confident and like I can take on the world.

I have made a decision this week to start showing myself that I care about me and how I appear to the outside world. I don't want to feel like I'm in frumpy clothes any more. I don't want to panic when I see the camera come out because I don't have a lick of makeup on. I don't want to keep living an unhealthy lifestyle where I keep giving into my cravings, whether it be for food or for not exercising.

This is my motivational post to myself, a post to hopefully keep me accountable, and finally a post that may motivate someone else.

The Illusion Scarf that isn't

I finished my illusion scarf. Of course, after charting all four images and then getting started with the actual knitting I realized that I had written the pattern wrong and my images don't show up too well on the scarf. I decided to just continue on and the scarf still turned out okay. I now have an idea for another illusion scarf. I'm thinking that once Camp Loopy is done I will work on charting it out and knitting it up. Until then, here is a picture of my finished not so illusion scarf.